For once, I don't know.

tonight...time ticks, i can hear my air conditioner humming, my grandfather clock ticking, the trucks outside on the highway not to far from my house, the warehouses making noise as they work late into the night.

here i sit, with a sun burn, on my living room floor on a scrap of fur as i listen to music and try to finish some work papers.

i don't know what tonight is. for some reason, i feel like i have to blog about it. it's just one of my down moments. maybe it's my music but i doubt it is. i just feel anxious and worried about a few things that go on in my mind, those un-battled wars within myself, the problems i chose not to asess right now, those feelings i shy away from.

just some things rattling around in my mind. both the people who know basically my whole life's story and that i'm in Gor and such, un-conviently are away, one is asleep, the other is probably either getting to bed himself or with some friends. those people you know, the ones that say "i will be here for you" sometimes i believe that, it makes me feel more secure to do so, other times i believe that they are just a wall for my mind to put up to escape from reality and just run away form life it's self, to hide myself from the harsh world, and close myself in a box.

i have things to say, that i don't want to say as i will regret them later on, and, that is not a good thing. i have been down this same road before, though i had a different feeling, i was not afraid of saying my words, though now times have changed, things have changed, i'm afraid of losing everything i worked for in my life over this, to lose things valuable like trust and honor  these things i hold near and dear to me. though, we all have things that we lock up in a box with chains in our minds, things that we hide deliberately to keep others from thinking different of us. i will be the first to admit this fact, indeed.

though, i do have paperwork to attend to, aloe to rub all over me, a drink to drink, and a bed to sleep in for tomorrow  been a busy weekend, maybe that is what is messing me up, or maybe i'm a little attention deprived. maybe i'm seeing things in a manner i'd rather not see. maybe i'm just feeling a bit of sub drop and just feel like shit in my servery and feel bad about it and what i do. maybe it's just the sun burn talking and the heat of the sun here. maybe there really is something bigger. i don't know yet. tonight has been odd and un-explainable  apologies for the mopey post, but this blog has everything, being a slave, isn't always about the highlights of life, a lot of it sucks ass.

life's a bitch.

~petals

Made butter! (chores)

wheeee! did LOTS of G&S chores, made a lota butter!

(left click to enlarge)

[13:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
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[13:53] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[13:53] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[13:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[13:54] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[13:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
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[13:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:54] Second Life: Ľαđץ  尺αυεภ (raven.cedarbridge) is Offline
[13:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[13:55] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[13:55] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:55] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[13:55] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[13:56] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
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[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[13:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:56] Second Life: Setive is Offline
[13:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[13:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[13:57] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[13:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[13:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[13:59] Second Life: atiya (debra.cyberstar) is Offline
[14:00] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:00] Second Life: atiya (debra.cyberstar) is Online
[14:00] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:00] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:01] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:02] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:03] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:03] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:04] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:04] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:04] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:04] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:04] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:04] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:04] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:04] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:05] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:05] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:05] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:05] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:05] Second Life: Lov'A (ladylisafwd) is Offline
[14:06] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:06] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:06] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:06] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:07] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:07] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:07] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:18] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:19] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:19] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:19] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:19] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:19] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:19] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:20] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:20] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: the food is burned
[14:20] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:20] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: The kitchen is being used : KittyFini Resident
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:21] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:21] TuTy's BURLESQUE Sexy female AO Priority3 (just wear): OFF
[14:21] TuTy's BURLESQUE Sexy female AO Priority3 (just wear): ON
[14:22] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:22] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:22] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:22] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:22] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: The kitchen is being used : KittyFini Resident
[14:22] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:22] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:22] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:22] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:23] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:23] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:23] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:23] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:23] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:24] TuTy's BURLESQUE Sexy female AO Priority3 (just wear): OFF
[14:24] TuTy's BURLESQUE Sexy female AO Priority3 (just wear): ON
[14:25] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:26] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:26] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:26] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:26] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:27] Mini Mania: Unfortunately you didn't win this time. However, in a few moments time our Mini-Mania will be open for new entries - perhaps you'll be lucky in the next round! Visit us at: Bellmer (172,2,23)
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:27] Second Life: Atiya (debra.cyberstar) is Offline
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:27] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:28] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:28] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Butter
[14:28] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Mantequilla / Butter [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:28] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:28] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:28] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:28] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:28] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:29] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:29] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:29] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:29] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : it is inedible
[14:29] Second Life: You decline 'Algo [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ) from COCINA[G&S].
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: The kitchen is being used : KittyFini Resident
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:30] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:31] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:31] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Butter
[14:32] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Mantequilla / Butter [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:32] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:33] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:33] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:33] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:34] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:36] Second Life: Steinn Sture (steinn) is Offline
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:41] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:42] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:42] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Butter
[14:43] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Mantequilla / Butter [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:44] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:45] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:45] Second Life: John Castle (johncastle) is Online
[14:46] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:46] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:46] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:47] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:47] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:47] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:47] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:47] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:47] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:47] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:47] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:48] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:48] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:49] Mini Mania: Unfortunately you didn't win this time. However, in a few moments time our Mini-Mania will be open for new entries - perhaps you'll be lucky in the next round! Visit us at: Bellmer (175,2,23)
[14:49] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:49] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:49] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:49] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:49] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:49] Second Life: johnj1959 is Online
[14:49] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:49] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:50] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:50] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:50] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:50] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:50] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:51] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:51] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:51] Second Life: Setive is Online
[14:51] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:51] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:51] Second Life: Can't rez object at { 80.5248, 99.7574, 2346.63 } because the owner of this land does not allow it.  Use the land tool to see land ownership.
[14:52] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:52] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:53] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:53] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:53] Second Life: Atiya (debra.cyberstar) is Online
[14:53] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:54] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:55] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:55] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Butter
[14:55] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Mantequilla / Butter [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:55] Second Life: Muninn (moonsky1981) is Online
[14:55] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:56] Second Life: Soth (thelorensoth) is Online
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:56] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:57] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:57] Second Life: Teri Sturges is Offline
[14:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:57] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Milk
[14:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Milk
[14:58] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Delivering : Cream
[14:59] Second Life: COCINA[G&S] owned by Sombra Magic gave you 'Nata /  Cream [G&S]'  ( Bestone (229,150,3500) ).
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[14:59] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Loading ingredient : Cream
[15:00] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: ingredient loaded : Cream
[15:00] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: Searching for near ingredients: please wait.
[15:01] Cocina Magica [G&S] - Min model: (Click) before burning the food.

Differences between Lifestyler and BTB

When we read the book, we take in information that we know that would be near or impossible completely to recreate fully in our real lives.

let's take my life for example, i'm not afraid to say my life right now.

because of my work, i can't go live with my Jarl. Because of his work, he can't come to me. (plus our families and friends make it hard to go)

because of my work, i can't be around all the times that i wish i could, same situation for my Jarl and for many other people.

Because of my real life family, i get interrupted when i'm trying to serve someone.

Because of my health and allergies, i can't eat any of that vile gruel with fish in it...sorry, allergic to fish. (takes hers without the fish)

there are a few other reasons that make what girls would normally do in the books, near impossible  not to mention that there is a law against public nudity..sorry.

plus, unless you wan't an STD filled girl...i suggest not passing her to everyone in your city... *laughs*

not to overlook that if you walk into a bar, pull a random girls and tell her "paga, harta." that you will be looked at like a creeper most likely.

Thus, due to reasons like these i have listed and diffidently chortled about above, there has been a change in the definition in "Gorean lifestle" lifestyle meaning the way you carry out your life, The "Gorean Lifestyle" has become over the years more of a way of philosophy and idea then of actually doing the acts described in the books. Though some people do have the opportunity to carry out most of the things described in the books.

hell, i've been in a house before were their den room was turned into a tavern like no other, it was to the key of gorean, and it was perfect! it was so beautiful, i was watching them at the point, i never got to serve, but it was just beautiful and jaw dropping to see something like that in real life.

I do have plans, when i have the oputunity, no matter how long from now, i do wish to be back within the real life ways soon. though, as best i can, i try to make everything as "real" as possible, skype, one Jarl only, telling my Jarl of my rl stuff and information, etc.

that was my little blab about that, :) if you have any topics to suggest let me know by dropping me a message on FB or on SL 

This week I assume

well, a huge yay for my Jarl finaly able to find a viewer that does not bitch at mesh! yay! i was so afraid that i would have to go out and buy more flexi primmy hair! phew! -.-

anyways..that was random has heck!

moving on, tomorrow, it will be Friday *(^.^)* yay! so i will get out of work early and get to go swimming with some of my friends, though i will come home, annoy my Jarl a bit as usual, and RP a bit more. I recently had to take a break from my RP because i was busy on SL getting land and making it pretty, that task is ALMOST done. So i will have to be going back into my RP this weekend because the building and decorating and such is driving me insane. YAY RP

I did get a really nice kirtle that i wanted for a long time, finally bought it and it's just SO DAMN ADORABLE! (left click to enlarge)

aside from that, though, i need to rewrite my RP story a bit and switch things around a bit. Same concept though just need a few things changed, need to tell the physician and the scribe to change my hair color back.

though, i do have work to attend to tomorrow  so i can't post much. i edited the page "My Jarl" on my blog (scroll up and check it out!) so i did do something today at least.

wish all Jarls soft furs with pleasing sluts. Wish all Mistresses soft pillows a fluffy dresses! wish all slaves the opportunity to be found pleasing this eve,

xxx

petals

Owning a Gorean slave/ Being a Gorean slave

Slavery in Gor?

Slavery in gor is not fake, it is not easy, it is not always the "cream of the crop". It takes time to learn, time to mold yourself to what is expected, hard to learn over past habits and create good ones.

A Gorean slave is ALWAYS at the mercy of their owners. They are to be fully pleasing in all ways to ALL free. That's right! Not just to your Owner alone, but to EVERY free person.

what most slaves do not realize, and I personally have come to realize, is that even if the negotiations are made before the collaring such as "I promise to you that I will not let anyone else touch you sexually but me." are not the Master's obligation to carry out. Three days later, you are given for the eve to please another Master, and you have absolutely no regulation over what happens.

Owning a slave in Gor?

this way isn't any easier as being a slave it's self.

Good owners are just far and few these days now that people believe that they have a window drapery thing (swag) and can't even use proper grammar, get in trouble with the law, and are down right a "questionable" person as many parents would say. I'm not saying that people who wear shirts that say "swag" on them are not the Master type. But we all make assumptions of people before we even talk to them, i do that, and i really should stop as i am a slave...anyways...aside from this "pop culture" but the gentlemen of yesteryear are FAR gone.

Free often have a VERY off or unrealistic view of what owning a slave is like. An "easy breeze" to just ya know go out there and own a whole damn harem of girls! As i stated before, the free have absolutely no obligation to truly care or give a damn about a slave. Though, as a slave is still a human in every way even if they are viewed as property and objects, it would be outright foolish to not care about something that you own. It also makes you look like an asshole.

of course, a slave needs care, some form of attention to thrive within to become more pleasing. If you don't pay any attention at all truly to your slave, they are likely to stop being pleasing. Teaching a slave the first time the right thing and taking extra time to train them correctly is worth more then having to punish them every time they do something.

Conclusion?

Neither being a slave or a Free in Gor is easy. It takes work, sadly there are crappy slaves out there. There are also crappy Owners. 

Little sayings

In my collar, i feel freedom i have never felt before.
In my collar, i feel whole.
In my collar, i feel like i have a place in this world.
In my collar, i feel my submission shine through.
In my collar, i serve my Owner completely.
In my collar, i am His.
In my collar, i am pleasing before His eyes.
In my collar, i wish to serve him to my fullest and best abilities.
In my collar, i am loved.
~petals, Tomas' bondmaid <3

Today!

oh my gosh...
today was SO DANG GONE BORING...
until tonight. i logged onto sl and went to bluebird.benelli's show (yas' show) and her Jarl was there and saw that i was owned by my Jarl (Tomas) and well, he started laughing and then called me spanky because i was talking about all my name changes and such. then he started doing impressions over the air of yas' show and did one of Mistress Raven Ceaderbridge it was "OH MY GOSH did you really just say that" and it made me and her laugh so much. then he did an impression of my Jarl and it was so damn funny!

[20:51] Sheikh Anvar the Wise (anvarra.alecto): oy look at the bum on dat lil bondsmaid she can long hall me any dey
[20:51] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): roflmao
[20:51] anna (arwin.bartlett): laughs
[20:52] Sheikh Anvar the Wise (anvarra.alecto): my impression of Tomas wildcat

[20:35] Sheikh Anvar the Wise (anvarra.alecto): note to self start the falsified contracts proving all of Tomas property is Anvar's at the time of his death to pay for uncollected debts incurred
[20:35] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): ROLMAO
[20:35] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): for the 15 kegs of ale?
[20:35] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): er
[20:35] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): 16
[20:35] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): *laughs*
[20:36] Sheikh Anvar the Wise (anvarra.alecto): 16 mead kegs 14 ale kegs 9 ka la na kegs
[20:36] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): giggles
[20:36] Sheikh Anvar the Wise (anvarra.alecto): and funds to pay for one slut from a hall now called petel slut
[20:36] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): giggles



then i made a comment in GPR chat..

[20:38] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): yas sends the broken tarns
[20:39] ýαş (bluebird.benelli): yes.. but only the ones that are a teeny little bit broken
[20:39] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): giggles
[20:39] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): yeah, half of a wing, thats a small problem
[20:39] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): right
[20:39] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): hahahahahah
[20:44] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): ROFLMAO
[20:44] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): omg
[20:44] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): yas.. *laughs*
[20:44] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): teehee
[20:44] anna (arwin.bartlett): they make only left turns
[20:48] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini) sees in ehr head a man and a woman in teh furs..tehn out of the blue..BAMMM! TARN IN YER WINDOW!
[20:49] ýαş (bluebird.benelli): gives the words 'out of the blue' a totally new meaning
[20:49] ýαş (bluebird.benelli) laughs
[20:50] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): giggles


i still like the "BAMM tarn in yer window" giggles. it was so perfect. yas alwyas makes me laugh so hard, her shows are outright wild and fun. loved it so much ahha.


then we were talkign about how her Jarl and Mistress Raven were drinking tea, and well, we um...said that the tea was spiked..

[21:28] pєȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): Jarl has tea?
[21:28] Ľαđץ  ³בץוְ (raven.cedarbridge): chuckles at anna
[21:29] ¼בנץ  ³בץוְ (raven.cedarbridge): he is a proper man
[21:29] p÷ȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): *says it in a brittish accent like me and my Jarl speak sometimes* tayyy
[21:29] anna (arwin.bartlett): lol
[21:29] ¼בנץ  ³בץוְ (raven.cedarbridge): yikes...
[21:29] anna (arwin.bartlett): tea from long island
[21:29] p÷ȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): hahha
[21:29] ¼בנץ  ³בץוְ (raven.cedarbridge): looks innocently....tea is safe
[21:29] p÷ȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): all Mistresses fault..SUREEEEE Jarl
[21:29] p÷ȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): the tea me makes isn't
[21:29] p÷ȶāʃʂ (kittyfini): lol

yeah. then yas' Jarl says through skype and over air "it's all petal spanky's fault!" oh my gosh, i always have so much fun with this group teehee

we just all kinda dance around at yas' shows and we don't take too much seriously but eh.

then someone requested Metallica and we all started rocking out...and headbanging and being little freaks..it was so funny. then my "sis" shes not on my chain but i consider her a sister constantly and shes such a doll i absolutely love her, (debra.cyberstar) atiya, came along and she was in a rainbow outfit and we called her skittles..so much fun tonight really.

some photos from yesterday eve/this early morning (left click to enlarge)

songs waking up to this morning that you might enjoy (bit of a trance/techno morning for me.) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSWicLWfj7M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=llyiQ4I-mcQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jS_VMtCha8

Restrictions in Gor

this blog posting today, has taken me a few days. why you may ask? well, because it's not like my normal "in the life" posting. this has taken me days to find references, definitions, all while being sicker than a dog in real life. so please, i hope that you see something out of all of this and the stuff i use to back up my mind. below won't be a final draft, it will be a bit sloppy and will have what goes through my mind when i read these things, take them into account, etc.

even though these statements of MY OPINION are followed by quotes, they are MY OPINION and if you don't like MY opinion, leave and please do not cause a fuss. Though, they have some major points. Of course i am halfway talking about the RL scene and the RP scene, hopefully the line between the two are clear enough for you to decipher.

first we have the quotes i promised, please read them over CAREFULLY AND COMPREHEND THEM before reading what i got from these quotes, my real life experiences and my brain that can think well for it's self!
now, i will start with the RL gor part, as this part isn't always BTB (by the book) but lifestylers try to live the Gorean Lifestyle as best they can and still live on earth (sorry if that sounded wrong to you, it sounds right to me in my head at least. Goreans basically on earth teehee) and well, even in the BDSM world, a Master/Mistress' personal slave won't be shared in RL easily. so i believe in RL that it is more "tighter" of circumstances. I've been in a few BDSM RL situations, and from all i have seen (some of them also being gorean) the slaves aren't often shared from person to person, they are normally restricted.

now, towards the more RP and online slavery part. Most of the time, i do see restricted girls. they aren't "restricted" like they are supposed to be in the books, but it is still respected that if you post in your profile "restricted red silk" that that means that you have had sex, and you are restricted, please no penetrating me. and if you tell a gorean Master in RL that you are restricted and you obviously have an owner, i would hope that he would respect your owner's wishes and not lay a finger close to your special parts. but online i play an unrestricted bond, i try to live this role out in RL as much as i can, but sometimes it is a bit difficult, i make it through and serve my Jarl and please him and all is well. :) 

now, some quotes and my personal notes on what i believe they mean to ME (i will post my opinion in green and in parentheses)

"His guests, uncontrolled in their desire, driven half mad with passion, will mightily envy him his girl. Perhaps he, in Gorean hospitality, will share her with them, but, in the end, when they have gone, it is at the foot of his own couch that she, licking and kissing, and begging, will be chained." (this doesn't mean to dang gone much to me, and i can't explain it further than, occasionally if one were to have guests, he might share his girl with them and sometimes he wouldn't.)

iron belts, to prevent her penetration without the master's permission (i believe that this means that an iron belt means only that the girl is not to be touched with that belt on or near impossible to touch with such a thing on and her owner would have the lock i assume.)

"Too, more than once one of the guards at the house had angrily tested the security of the iron belt on me, and then, finding it secure, had thrust me from him, then taking another girl in hand, one not in such a belt, for the satisfaction of his fierce needs."( girls not belted were for the pleasure of the free, men especially.)

"You were merely utilized by a casual passer-by." I said. Such things, incidentally, are not that unusual with female slaves, particularly if they are put out, without an iron belt, in effect for the taking" (it was not weird to have someone come up grab you, and use you if you aren't wearing such a belt.)

"Unauthorized uses of female slaves are almost always by free men. they have little, or nothing, to fear, for the girls are only slaves. The masters, if they are concerned about such things, may put the girls in the iron belt, particularly if they are sending them on late errands, or into disreputable neighborhoods." (if the owner really cares if his girl is restricted or not sexually, he would have belted her. if the girl is going into an area the owner does not trust, she will often be belted just in case.)

now, this is the definitions i have found 

: something that restricts: as

a : a regulation that restricts or restrains <restrictions for hunters>

b : a limitation on the use or enjoyment of property or a facility2
: an act of restricting : the condition of being restricted
1
a : an act of restraining : the state of being restrained

b (1) : a means of restraining : a restraining force or influence(2) : a device that restricts movement <a restraint for children riding in cars>2
: a control over the expression of one's emotions or thoughts(definitions from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary)

to sum it up, 

there was not many restrictions BTB except for the biggest and most talked about, sexual restriction.

what do i think personally of being "belted"?

-Even though I am not belted, my Jarl has told me that if someone i know in Secondlife wishes to use me and I have had a bad past with them, go back home or hit the big red "X" button. 

-It limits how you can serve (especially in the northern ways)
one quote that I found that backs that up quite well is : "In the north, my pretty maids," Ivar assured them, "the burdens you carry will be more prosaic, bundles of wood for the fires, buckets of water for the hall, baskets of dung for the fields." They looked at him with horror understanding then what the nature of their life would be. And at night, of course, they would server the feasts of their masters,carrying and filling the great the horns, and delighting them with the softness of their bodies in the furs. Marauders....chapter 3 

- I personally don't like being restricted. because then sometimes being restricted limits how far you can tease a man in RP and I don't like that. I like being able to tease the shit out of them and being dragged to the furs (but maybe that is just me)

- I don't think I can find the particular quote but I do remember that somewhere in Marauders of Gor, there was something along the lines that said that bonds worked hard during the day time and then went to serve the Jarls at night and were often shared among the village or something along those lines.

- I know it says "my Jarl" but still,I believe that it pertains to all free... "The bond-maid, Olga, laughing and kicking, thrown helplessly over the shoulder of an oarsman, was carried past. I saw several of the bond-maids in the arms of Ivar's men. Among them, too, some trying to resist, were the new girls. One, who had irritated an oarsman, her hands held, was beaten, crying out, with his belt. Released, she began to kiss him, weeping, trying to please him. Men laughed. Another of the new girls was thrown over one of the benches; she lay on her back; her head was down, her dark hair, long wild, was in the dirt and reeds, strewn on the floor of the hall; her head twisted from side to side; her eyes were close her lips were parted; I saw her teeth.""Do not stop, ~ Jarl," she begged. "Your bond-maid begs you not to stop! ~Marauders of Gor, pg. 108"


to sum this all up, depending on if you are a Lifestyler, a RP-er or a BTB person, the "restrictions" for slaves differ greatly. i hope that you enjoyed what took me a while to put together, the idea might be a bit messy and loose but i'm telling you, it is there! 

if you have any other topics that you would like me to address in this style, leave a comment below or even leave a post on my official Facebook page!
https://www.facebook.com/TheHalfTamedLarlBond

Saturday!

this Saturday oh so great.
my Jarl was of course coming home by the time i was already passed out on my sofa in my living room. this time i feel asleep in a naughty way with thoughts of him within my mind and dreams. *blushes*
today i did my chores in the village, cared for the verr and bosk, tended the fields, milked the bosk, etc. also treated myself to some new hair. a braided one and then a not-so braided one (depicted somewhere below) i also spent some time editing photos, obviously

I spent a majority of my time sleeping this morning, just didn't wan't to get up. -.- but i made it up and i'm about to go onto Secondlife again to hang with some friends and party before going out and Role playing again.

here are some photos i edited today!

(left click to enlarge)

check out my photography blog and Facebook pages!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dark-Larl-Photography/400400153372002

http://darklarlphotography.blogspot.com/

This week so far...

Yes, tis been a while since this little slut put her pen on paper and wrote. Been busy in real life for the absolute longest time it seems. For now, as i sit on my chair in my living room, watch teh history channel "ancient aliens" and eating my pizza for lunch, i will blog.

as real life paycheck came in meaning i can buy more stuff in secondlife! YAY! hehe. So far, four new kirtles, (shorter ones for the summer) some new hair styles, a new AO, and some new boots!

okay picture time!

my new hair and lounging in front of the the fire

the first baby bosk i birthed "skedah"

tending to the fields

cooking up some grub!

spinning the wool of a black verr

walking the cute little verrs!

UPDATES LIKE A MADHOUSE!

Truly, not too much to talk about today/tonight. Today was boring, work, etc and my Jarl was gone most of the day so we were away from each other oh well. got my slave exam done in SL again, anyways it was time for the annual re-do of the three months of slave wine *facepalm* but the physician Jarl was nice and he left me have the liquid instead of having to chew a damn root. Plus he gave me candy afterwords *giggles*

plus i am a bit obsessed with this song right now :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZtJMUXOS7A&list=LLULyfHZWSaf8nzBPkL6_vjQ

Aside from that, i will post my paper's up on here just if someone wanted to know what they looked like when they were done. But that will be done at a later time. I am about ready to fall sideways and pass out! So freaking tired tonight i mean really. Tomorrow i work crazy late hours so i won't be able to post much.

anyways. sorry.


here are some photos. hope they entertain you for a bit

And then there was today!

Indeed, sadly it is Sunday. Meaning early bed time, crappy ending of the weekend, and some random bullshit as usual.My Jarl had to work sadly again tonight but we got some time to spend together as much as we could. I was awake before he was and i hung out on secondlife, met the new overseer of my village, and then my Jarl came on. Me and my Jarl hung around in his house for a bit before going down stairs to to the tavern to wish the Ubar a happy birthday.my computer started to lagg like mad so i had to go back to my Jarl's home. my Jarl stayed for a bit there then came up to spend some more time with me. we snuggled a bit more and this came up :


[14:04] ŜΚÄ ĽĐ (tomas.wildcat): girl
[14:05] ŜΚÄ ĽĐ (tomas.wildcat): you now have a new name
[14:05] ŜΚÄ ĽĐ (tomas.wildcat): I found it
[14:05] ŜΚÄ ĽĐ (tomas.wildcat): yup
[14:05] ŜΚÄ ĽĐ (tomas.wildcat): SCRUMP A LICIOUS
[14:05] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): giggles
[14:05] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): yay
[14:05] ŜΚÄ ĽĐ (tomas.wildcat): Sca for short

so yay! i'm renamed! hahah. (again hehe)

that is basically it for today, a laid back Sunday. I'm going to go put on a hair mask, cook some food, and then just play around on secondlife a bit. *smiles*

Odin's eye upon ye and yers!

~sca, owned by Jarl Tomas.

What went down today! (i have no idea what the date is today. sorry.)

What went down today! (i have no idea what the date is today. sorry.)

i must admit, looking back on my past, i have been one for the longest ass time. but really... i see that now...there is MANY of them...who claim to be Gorean, yet let their preferences and such to get in the way. I mean i understand this, and understand the reasons of such that someone would put restrictions on a girl. I know that these reasons do come about, i've done this before. But when it comes to the point were i see a girl who's own Owner writes this upon her slave papers:

 " ******* is a good girl and as such she has the right to say no to anyone she wishes. She deserves all the respect she desires and needs." 

i mean god forbid that that particular slave sees my blog that has this written on her papers, but truly...i mean...i'm a little bit speechless  I mean this really bugs me. In gor, it was a Man's world. and to have such "loose" restrictions on a girl, is quite crazy. 

if you don't understand what i mean by "loose" restrictions, it is story time!

a man walks up to the girl. he asks her some questions about herself, then refers to her as "slut" (not often done in the gor books but often enough.) and she gets offended and blocks the man. she runs and tells her Owner of this "horrible vile man" and he blocks him too. them both being surrounded in their own Disney gor. saying "She deserves all the respect she desires and needs" is complete utter bull fucking crap.

slaves are objects. they are things to be owned (sorry if i break any one's heart. but when it comes down to it, we all are.) slaves simply are pieces of property, to be pleasing to the Free. if they are not pleasing to the Free, they either will learn better or might not be around too much longer. face it, no one in a RP will respect a slave if the RP is to make a slave seem lesser.

yes i understand that there are "love slaves" and slaves who are expensive. behind every slave is a mind, a heart, feelings. but really. REALLY. this really does piss me off. RP is RP and i bet that that particular person lives somewhere were Gor isn't Gor and were the rules are lightly wound.

I mean, i saw this girl at a store, and stalked her profile a bit, she was AFK on her meter. Just from the look of her, big pony tails, sparkly collar, kawaii camisk that isn't gorean and has pockets with faces...i kinda assumed that she was a bit pampard. i mean, Hell im spoiled, but not spoiled to the point were people are SUPPOSED to respect me. hell if someone calls me "slut" i'm not going to run off to my Jarl crying saying "oh he was an evil evil man.." hell fucking no. that shit isn't happening. 

now, i'm not saying that this girl was a full blown princess. i didn't even talk to her. maybe this makes me a hypocrite...maybe i call it being observant. but it seems it starts off with the fancy appearance, then the non slave like rights, then it goes farther, and then you have a fucking free woman in a camisk dammit!

anyways, now that i have that bullcrap out of my system....

I spent the past three hours watching television, skype chatting my Jarl, and writing a little thing for my Jarl later. 

Today has been a some what successful day...i got some laundry done, bought a new car jack (beucase the old one started bending last time and they were on sale.) also wen't shopping for food, got some nommies and such, wen't home RP-ed for a bit etc.

i spent some time today, talking to a Jarl. a Jarl i have served in the longhall before, a Jarl who i've seen around the village a lot. he let me stalk him (he legit called me a "stalker" lol jokingly) and we cuddled by the fireplace within his house and looked upon the art hung about the walls. we relaxed and caught each other up on the city and it's being. We also talked about our personal lives.

He told me, the previous night, at the great feast, there was at least twenty men within our hall, feasting for our city. He said that he could only stay a bit but it was just the normal events and things going on.

So far i have not met the new overseer, but i have indeed heard things.

so far after sitting modeling for three hours tonight, i am SO ready to go to bed! my Jarl gets home at a stupid hour (like at 7 am at the earliest) and that's crazy. so i won't be up when he gets home, that was already predetermined. ahhaha. Just finishing watching the re-runs of "Vikings" i've seen them all so far, waiting for tomorrow night's show...can't wait haha.

so i will say my good nights. Odin's eye upon ye. May Thor grant ye strength, and may Loki bring a smile to yer face and laughter on yer way. Wishes softest warmest sexiest furs.

~pussy, Owned by Jarl Tomas.

Today, 4.4.13

Well, today has been interesting. At 8:21 PM it is just starting to begin! But here is a half way update of today for ye!

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DLP and me personally has had some work added to an AMAZING information filled website ..please have a look at my stuff, and look around at some other postings!

DLP----http://goreandanceblog.wordpress.com/art-writing/dark-larl-photography-a-mixture-of-gorean-artwork/

Chores---http://goreandanceblog.wordpress.com/art-writing/s%D1%8Fi%CE%B1-kittyfini-spring-cleans-the-longhall-amazing-chore-well-done/

Dance---http://goreandanceblog.wordpress.com/art-writing/%C6%B9%CC%B5%CC%A1%D3%9D%CC%B5%CC%A8%CA%92p%CA%8A%CA%82%CA%82%CA%8F%C6%B9%CC%B5%CC%A1%D3%9D%CC%B5%CC%A8%CA%92-kittyfini-a-saucy-little-story-short-but-sweet-much-left-to-the-imaginat/

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well, today i met a Mistress who really took to heart the quote.

 "A free woman may often make a man angry with impunity, she being lofty and free, this latitude is seldom extended to the slave." (Blood Brothers of Gor, p. 221)

man the hell did she make ME angry. she started on a rant that i was dancing above her and put dust all over her hair and clothes. she expected em to wash her hair and clothing...and well, there was no water near. just barrels of paga. so i offered to wash it in paga, but she re fussed to be cleaned with paga. well, it was the only idea i had. so she shot that one down. which wasn't a surprise. she made a comment that if all i had to wash her hair with was paga...made her really realize that northern men are "smelly, dirty, and always drunk" hahahha. plus, she claimed to be a southern free woman...and didn't wear a veil...then suggested me having to touch her skin (non sexual way) and wipe her clothes and wash her clothes and she had nothing else to change into. i mean really. really. i hope one day she ends up in a collar. She was just a random person at the Gor Hub ya know...and there was nothing i could do but paga...and she wouldn't accept. what was i to do!

i mean...really. bull fucking shit man. that's bullshit.

i was talking to my friend atiya, and she said this while i was telling her what was happening...
[12:48] atiya (debra.cyberstar): SIS COME DANCE
[12:49] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): if it's in the wagon camp, i can't im banned
[12:49] atiya (debra.cyberstar): PURELIFE LODGE
[12:49] atiya (debra.cyberstar): CLUB
[12:50] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): i hav ea FW yellign at me sayign that i got dirt in her hair and that i need to clean it but theres no damn water i mean WTF adn shes about to message my Jalr that i didnt folow commands, i mean really its bullcrap
[12:50] atiya (debra.cyberstar): CALM..BE CREATIVE SIS
[12:50] atiya (debra.cyberstar): SHAKE THE BITCHES HAIR
[12:51] atiya (debra.cyberstar): USE PAGA
[12:52] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): LMAO
[12:52] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): i cant touch her roflmao
[12:52] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): so i'm like WTF
[12:52] atiya (debra.cyberstar): BLOW
[12:52] atiya (debra.cyberstar): IM SERIOUSE
[12:52] atiya (debra.cyberstar): BLOW THE DIRTY OUT
[12:53] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): lmao
[12:53] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): i love you sis...lmao let me try the paga one loool
[12:53] atiya (debra.cyberstar): LIKE MARYLIN MONROE PRESS YOUR LIPS TOGETHER AND BLOW
[12:53] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): LMAO
[12:53] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): blow a freewoman? O.o
[12:53] atiya (debra.cyberstar): NO TRY BLOW FIRST
[12:53] atiya (debra.cyberstar): SHE MAY GET MAD AT WET PAGA
[12:54] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): okay rofl
[12:54] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): now she wants me to do her clotehs too
[12:54] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): naki Mistress >>,
[12:54] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): >.<
[12:54] atiya (debra.cyberstar): BLOW HER CLOTHES
[12:54] atiya (debra.cyberstar): OR..STRIP HER AND CALL A MASTER WITH A COLLAR
[12:55] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): lmao
[12:55] Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄ƷpʊʂʂʏƸ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ (kittyfini): ikr

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ALSO SOME PHOTOS FOR YE! (you can left click them to enlarge and get a better view. all photos unedited so far :3 )